An image of UQ Graduate School liaison team leader Alison Pike.

UQ Graduate School liaison team leader Alison Pike. Images: Anjanette Webb

UQ Graduate School liaison team leader Alison Pike. Images: Anjanette Webb

Embracing adult life with ADHD

By Jessica Marshallsay

Warning: elements of this story may be distressing for some readers.

In July 2020, Alison Pike had a breakdown. Feeling suicidal, she was admitted to hospital and, through one-on-one sessions with psychiatrists, was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

“By the time I was diagnosed, I didn’t have much left in the way of self-compassion,” Ms Pike said.

Despite a supportive work environment and a strong personal work ethic, the liaison team leader in UQ's Graduate School felt like she was struggling to cope with her duties.

“I just felt like a complete imposter, a fraud, and like I’d let everybody down.”

“The shame was just immense. It was this constant cycle of feeling like I had to compensate, and then I’d usually end up overcompensating,” she said.

“I’d drop the ball, then work really hard, do stupid hours, work on weekends, and try to cover up messes until I’d resolved them.

“Then I’d get burnt out, take the minimum time I needed to recover, come back and start again.

“And every time it happened I’d blame myself. I kept thinking, how could I have not learnt from this already?”
Alison Pike

Dr Thea Voogt’s experience of being diagnosed with ADHD couldn’t have been more different.

Nine years ago, Dr Voogt (Master of International Commercial Law ’16), now a senior lecturer in UQ’s TC Beirne School of Law, had just moved to Australia. She had to take her teenage son, who had been diagnosed with ADHD at a young age, to see a psychiatrist to get a prescription for his medication.

“I will forever be grateful for this man who gave me one look and said, I think you need this more than your son,” she said. 

“I didn’t believe it at first, but when I left that office, I knew I had to do something, and that was the starting point for me.”

What is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects people’s ability to exert self-control, also known as executive functioning.

Professor Christel Middeldorp, a UQ researcher into child and youth psychiatry, said ADHD is diagnosed by meeting five symptoms (six for children aged under 17) from a list set out by the American Psychiatric Association in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-V). For adults, the symptoms must have started in childhood, and not be explained by any other disorders such as depression or anxiety.

The symptoms are separated into two categories – inattention, and hyperactivity and impulsivity – and patients must meet the criteria of at least five symptoms in at least one category. If they meet five or more symptoms in each of the categories, this is sometimes described as combined ADHD.

Inattention

  • You often have trouble paying close attention or make careless mistakes at work or with other activities.
  • You often have trouble keeping your attention on tasks.
  • You often have trouble listening when people are talking to you.
  • You are easily distracted or side-tracked, and often have trouble following instructions and finishing tasks at work or chores at home.
  • You often have trouble organising tasks and activities.
  • You tend to avoid or dislike tasks that require sustained mental effort, such as study or time-consuming work tasks.
  • You often lose things such as your phone, keys or paperwork.
  • You’re easily distracted.
  • You’re often forgetful in day-to-day life.

Hyperactivity and impulsivity

  • You have trouble sitting still, or often fidget or tap your hands or feet.
  • You often feel restless in situations that require you to sit still for extended periods of time, such as meetings.
  • You have trouble taking part in leisure activities quietly.
  • You feel like you’re always on the go, as if ‘driven by a motor’.
  • You often talk excessively.
  • You’ll often blurt out answers before the other person has even finished asking the question.
  • You find it difficult to wait your turn.
  • You often find yourself interrupting or intruding on other people’s conversations.

Illustration: Olga Rai/paseven/Adobe Stock

An illustration of a woman with squiggled lines over her head representing confused messy feelings.

Despite the popular myth that ADHD is over-diagnosed, research suggests that more than 75 per cent of adults with ADHD are undiagnosed.

Professor Middeldorp said there are a number of reasons people might not be diagnosed until adulthood.

“One of the most common reasons it’s missed in girls is because they’re less likely to present with hyperactive symptoms,” she said.

“You often see the inattentive phenotype, where they are just dreaming, off with the fairies, but very quiet. So, the teacher may not even notice that they’re not paying attention.

“Whereas, because of the hyperactivity in boys, that’s something people don’t miss.”

An image of Professor Christel Middeldorp

Professor Christel Middeldorp

Professor Christel Middeldorp

Another reason, which affects all genders, is that some children can disguise, or mask, their symptoms.

“It can also be because people are actually quite smart,” Professor Middeldorp said.

“So, they’re able to do school reasonably well. Then in adulthood, they find out that things aren’t going that well.”

There is a strong genetic component to ADHD, which means it is not uncommon for adults to be diagnosed after having a child diagnosed, as Dr Voogt was.

“ADHD is about 80 per cent heritable,” Professor Middeldorp said.

“That doesn’t mean that 80 per cent of parents have ADHD. But you do see that sometimes when a child comes to a child psychiatrist, their parent realises, ‘Oh, but I was just the same,’ and then they get a diagnosis themselves.”

What effects does ADHD have on everyday life?

For some people, ADHD can take a heavy toll on their ability to undertake everyday tasks, while other people develop coping mechanisms to handle these demands.

For Dr Voogt (pictured), growing up with undiagnosed ADHD meant developing strict self-control.

“From a very young age, I had to school myself and force myself into being very task-driven, very cold, and cut out everything that could interrupt that process and that focus,” she said.

She held an executive position at a large university in South Africa, where she was responsible for both managing duties like tenders and contracts, and running the superannuation fund.

The complex nature of this position, where she undertook work such as determining payouts of death claims and undertaking forensic work, fostered her coping mechanism of shutting down her emotions and being highly task-focused.

“I never realised the energy that I spent on a continuous basis, functioning at those extremely high levels,” she said.

“When I went on medication, there was an enormous tiredness that came over me, because I think my brain just realised that I could breathe, I could stop.”
Dr Thea Voogt

For Ms Pike, the struggle to manage the effects of her undiagnosed ADHD took a severe toll on her self-esteem. She’s not alone – research shows that ADHD is associated with lower self-esteem in adulthood due to the negative messages people with ADHD hear about themselves as they grow up.

“I had a lifetime of being told, or my parents being told, well she’s very bright, but she’s lazy – she doesn’t want to do the work,” she said.

The challenges presented by her undiagnosed ADHD meant it took her 10 years to complete her Bachelor of Arts (Psychology), which she finished in 2000. It took another 3 years to complete her honours, but she then graduated as valedictorian in 2003.

A few years before her breakdown and diagnosis, her psychologist had suggested that there was a an overlap between her symptoms and ADHD, but she dismissed the idea.

“[I felt like] that was just making excuses for myself, making excuses for bad behaviour and laziness, because up to that point I’d had a good 40 or so years of that narrative for myself.”

Professor Middeldorp said this experience is common among people with ADHD.

“There’s not one way in which ADHD influences how you manage your emotions. But of course, because it impacts your daily function, it can impact on your mood and your self-esteem,” she said.

“Sometimes people also self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, to calm down their head or make them more alert.”

An image of Dr Thea Voogt.

How is ADHD treated?

Professor Middeldorp said treatments for ADHD include medication such as stimulants, and therapy.

“You can try to change your environment and make it less distracting, and put more structure in, but that may not be totally effective as it’s also within your head that you just wander off.”

Dr Voogt has found the combination of medication and the psychological exercises she does with her psychiatrist highly beneficial.

“Going on Ritalin is the best thing I could have ever done,” she said.

“But at the same time, another great outcome is my own awareness of who I am and how I act.

“If you answer the questions in those tests with the psychiatrists, you reflect on what you do at work and at home.

“And to me, it’s a combination of the two that’s created much more of a balance in my life than I’ve ever had.”

Ms Pike also said medication helps, but the thing she’s working on the most is managing how she views herself.

“The biggest challenge is keeping the self-blame and the self-shaming under control,” she said.

“That voice still creeps in from time to time, but it’s getting quieter, and I’m finding that’s helping me across the board.”

An image of Dr Thea Voogt and Alison Pike chatting over coffee at UQ's St Lucia campus.

Dr Thea Voogt and Alison Pike at UQ's St Lucia campus.

Dr Thea Voogt and Alison Pike at UQ's St Lucia campus.

The bright side of ADHD

Although ADHD can present significant challenges, many people also enjoy the positive aspects of having ADHD, such as creativity and drive.

“You do have a lot of energy, so that’s definitely something that you can benefit from,” Professor Middeldorp said.

“As long as you can use that energy in a good way, then it can actually be pretty helpful. There’s more creativity, more out-of-the-box thinking.”

Dr Voogt said her workplace has allowed her to embrace aspects of her ADHD, such as her busy mind and ability to focus on a multitude of details.

“All of the conversations in my mind, they’re continuous, at high intensity. And I’m very grateful because I get to use that strength at the Law School.

“I’m the director of the business courses, and a lot of that involves thinking about processes, procedures, manuals, and handbooks that we use across courses, [as well as] adjudicating special cases for extensions.

“At the Law School, those strengths are the ones that I can offer. And the Dean has taken that, and I’m very grateful for his understanding that I can’t focus on single outcomes for long.”

Ms Pike also said her supportive work environment has helped her embrace the positive aspects of having ADHD.

“I feel like I’m well supported and accepted for who I am,” she said.

“I think the idea is that we are creative, and we’re bloody persistent – that’s what I’ve come to realise.

“I kept talking about myself as lazy and stupid and not wanting to do any hard work, but I actually kept going.

“I pushed through my degree, I kept trying to get a job, I kept trying to do my job.

“So, I’m actually pretty bloody resilient and committed.”

If you have been affected by the topics covered in this article, find help and resources via:

ADHD Awareness Month

ADHD Awareness Month is celebrated every October, with events and activities happening all across the country and around the world.